(Please note, a slightly revised Chapter 1 August 1995 is now stored under 'Good Stuff'. Come back here later today (January 13) for the next completed chapter.)
First of all
– Happy New Year! I hope 2013 is everything you want it to be.
And what
better way to kick off an excellent year than to read the long-awaited and
much-delayed first chapter of my thriller?
If you’ve
been following the development of the novel so far then there are one or two
surprises which I’d better warn you about:
1) ‘Gottlob’ is no longer ‘Gottlob’. He’s ‘Franz’. Sorry about that. I wrote the whole first chapter with him as ‘Gottlob’ but increasingly had the feeling that it just looked wrong on the page. Then I read it aloud and got tired of saying it. ‘Franz’ is really 'Franz-Josef' in honour of the KuK emperor of Austria and King of Hungary of course, not the Bavarian premier. Above is a picture of his namesake.
2) As the first chapter is set in 1995, Madeleine is twenty-five, slightly younger than I originally planned. The bulk of the story will take place in 2011 which we should reach by chapter three.
3) 'Nick' has turned into 'Ned'. 'Ned' seemed slightly more suitable for a person who is going to get in as much trouble as 'Ned' is going to. I think a 'Nick' would have been much more careful.
I hope you enjoy the chapter and please send me feedback. In the middle of January I’ll transfer the chapter into Good Stuff and I hope by then I’ll have the next chapter ready for you to read.
Hi James
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year. I am new to this blog - sorry that it's taken me so long to catch up with it.
I must say you are very brave writing novel in the first person as a female. (If Lindsay Davis can do it with her Roman sleuth Falco I'm sure you can!)
One correction, one assumption that you can clarify for me, lots of praise and one question.
Correction: a vicar would not give a sermon at a funeral but a eulogy.
Assumption: the bit about Paul ringing when the cheap rate starts is to show how mean spirited he is and devoid of any family feeling. Am I right? I like the dialogue with Maddie and Paul at the beginning - her cold reply and use of Thank you, rather than thanks leaves us in no doubt of their relationship.
Praise: love the scene before the funeral.
Question: In your short stories so far, one of the strengths has been the way you seemingly effortlessly (probably weeks of blolod sweat and tears!) slip in a marker as to the time frame you are taling about and then, if necessary, bring the reader back to the present. I am therefore a bit puzzled as to the sentence "Not that I do now. Come to think of it." How long will I have to wait until I know when now is?
Can't wait for the next chapters. Am having lunch with a friend who has published an ebook (on cookery) next weekend so will try to get some info to pass on.
Sue
Dear Sue,
DeleteThank you very much for your input. Incredibly helpful.
1) Yes, you're quite right about the vicar. Sermon is wrong, it should be a eulogy.
2) The time question I think I can resolve by adding Chapter 1 - August 1995 at the start.
3) It would be great to have your friend's input.
James
Hi James,
ReplyDeletewhat an awesome first chapter to your novel! This surely evokes great expectations in your readers.
A very Happy New Year to you and all your blog readers and commenters,
Lotte
PS: I very much like the change from "Gottlob" to "Franz". Or like somebody in a german "Vornamen-Forum" had it: "Der Vorname Gottlob ist gottlob so gut wie ausgestorben" ;-)
Dear Lotte,
DeleteThere are "Vornamen-Forums"??
Well, there you go. I've learned something new.
James
Well done James! For me as german it was really good to read and I could follow the actions perfectly.
ReplyDeleteI really hope we will find out more what her and Neds relationship was like.
Stefanie (from Siemens)
Thank you Steffi. I'm glad you liked this chapter and I shall do my best. What do you think her relationship was like with an elder brother?
DeleteIn my experience younger sisters start off by adoring their elder brothers but become increasingly exasperated with them when they behave badly or start trying to pick up their best friends. And if they are much older than them then younger sisters think their brothers are boring and stuffy.
J
You are probably right - and you already told us that her relationship to her living brothers have become pretty fierce at some point. According to that my question is if Ned was her only ally in her family then? And if so, how much will his loss change her way of thinking and feeling and how much will it motivate her to find out how he died? Would she do the same for her other brothers?
ReplyDeleteThat would be great to know! :)
Stef
OK, I think I understand better what you are interested in and I shall try to build that in. Thank you for some useful input.
DeleteJames